Losing connection in even the seemingly perfect relationships can happen to anyone.
You may have already started noticing it happening but wanted to ignore the signs until it became too obvious.
Maybe dinners with your partner are quieter than they normally are. Maybe they stop kissing you good night or saying I love you as much as they used to. Maybe you feel like you’re slowly losing your best friend while there’s nothing you can do about it.
But there is something you can do about it.
Relationships, no matter how good, are never easy. Make sure you take a look at this guide to learn how to reconnect with a distant relationship.
How To Reconnect With Your Partner
It happens in every relationship.
Once you and your partner have been together for a while, you get comfortable. The honeymoon phase wears away, and people change.
You don’t have to completely give up on the relationship though; you just have to figure out how to work through it.
Go Back to the Basics
Remember the beginning of your relationship? Remember how hard you guys both tried to start a relationship? All the cute things that you did: the texts, the phone calls, the dates, the presents.
When you’re in a long-term relationship, we tend to stop doing all of the things we did to begin the relationship. We get comfortable and complacent, but this is when the disconnect happens.
For a night, pretend that you guys are going on your first date, and you may find yourself falling in love all over again.
Spend More Time Together
We’re all busy, and sometimes life gets in the way. But we can always make time for the people that are most important to us.
You’d be surprised how much could be resolved when you two set aside to spend time with each other.
Turn off the cellphone, the TV, and any other distractions so that you can really just focus on each other.
The Small Moments Are Important
It’s easy to compare our relationship to someone else’s, especially with social media.
In ads, commercials, and social media we always see people doing big romantic gestures, like buying expensive jewelry or taking an extravagant vacation.
But if you want to learn how to reconnect with your significant other, it’s important to realize that you don’t have to something that big.
Sometimes small gestures and moments really mean more.
The things that make the dull days memorable are the small gestures. Like when you offer to help them make dinner. Or if you get them a random, small bouquet of flowers to show that you were thinking about them. Or asking or giving a hug, which may often be overlooked but can be incredibly meaningful.
Learn About Your Partner’s Love Language
We’re all different, so it makes sense that we communicate our affection in different ways.
There are five types of love languages that people use to show their affection:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
If you communicate your love by saying “I love you” (words of affirmation), but your partner doesn’t say it as much, that can cause some tension and strain in the relationship.
You may not think they love you as much as you love them, but really, they may just be telling you in a different way. Maybe they ask you to go out to dinner with them or relax with them on the couch after a long day (quality time).
They still love you; they are just communicating it in a different way. Understanding the way your partner communicates will help tremendously in repairing a broken connection between the two of you.
Understand Your Partner’s Emotional Needs
Perhaps your significant other has a mental illness or some other stressor in their life that is putting a strain on the relationship.
It’s easy to get frustrated and be unsure of what to do, but you should try to see their side of things, and this may help you know how to better help them.
Instead of getting angry and lashing out, you need to be gentle and show compassion.
Don’t try to take on their emotions and cure them, but just be there for them and help guide them through the difficult time in their life.
Connect with Yourself
A lot of people find themselves in one failed relationship after another and can’t figure out why.
Sometimes it’s because they haven’t found happiness within themselves or figured out how to be happy on their own. They go into a relationship expecting it to fill that void, but it never works.
The same goes for when you’re already in a relationship.
Before you can fix a broken connection between two people, you may need to fix it with yourself.
Reconnection only happens if you are confident and secure, not clingy and anxious. You need to get yourself into a good space before you can think about repairing a relationship.
When you don’t have peace inside yourself, you’re just searching for love. But when you’re trying to repair a relationship, you need to share love.
See A Counselor or Life Coach
People, like Kristine Klussman, have studied connection and relationships for years now.
Because of this, there are options available to help you. Many people sometimes turn to a therapist or a counselor to help them deal with the disconnect in their relationship.
There’s no shame in doing it if you need extra help because it shows you care about the relationship enough to want it to work.
Talk to Your Partner
When something is wrong in a relationship, it can start to affect other aspects of our life as well.
Learning how to reconnect with our partner, and even admitting that we have to can be difficult at first, but it does get easier.
Talk to your signification other and see what you can do to fix it. Make sure they know it comes from a place of love and that they know you’re not trying to attack or blame them.
If you can’t fix it on your own, don’t be afraid to ask for some outside help.